20050719

Life in a Dormant Volcano, p. 5: 'I almost crapped my pants.'

July 23, 2004

Today I hiked the Lightning Springs trail, 8 miles roundtrip, and left as the sun was setting. There was a pinkish-orange rim over the treetops as a I walked out of the trail. It was a great hike, through desert-like pumice, thick trees, criss-crossing a stream of melted snow, a small waterfall.

Today Stacey told me (among thousands of other unsolicited things) that Smashmouth was playing a free concert at the Jackson County Fair, and that she almost crapped her pants when she found out. The double negatives are taking a toll on me.

I saw that little mouse a few times lately, including about five seconds ago. I think he’s living on Rabbit's side. He tried to make a run for the bathroom, but I blocked the door crack. I’m going with the strategy of live and let live, but I don’t want to step on the little guy late one night in the john. I tried to come up with a name for him, but I just keep calling him “little mouse,” mimicking Rabbit: “Hey Tate, did you see that little mouse anymore?”

I saw a squirrel fall apart into guts underneath the tire of the boat van as it drove in front of me. It was disgusting, and I made a big deal of it, far more than Stacey and Stefanie, who were also in the car. But it was gross, and sad, and I couldn’t get it out of my head today.

I should really be getting thinner, but I think the combination of increased snacking and being subjected to whatever food is on the plate is taking its toll. Those four or five recent trips to the Watchman buffet after the EDR was closed didn’t help either.

Seeing TB (my 13 year-old sister) was great (I recently visited her and Casey in Portland for a few days). She’s turning into a really cool teenager. She’s got the tips of her hair red and her nails black. She’s not emotionally disturbed, at least not on the outside. She’s not acting out or getting into trouble, or really showing any signs of wanting to. I think she’s just setting herself apart. She’s not a bad artist either. Dragons and elves and things like that are her favorite subjects. There’s one great picture of a little girl hunched over with her hands over her head, and a dragon bursting out of her back into flight. It’s a great drawing, and she calls it “Rebirth.” She’s really going to need a way to deal with all the trauma she’s building up inside, and it’s good to see it’s coming out somewhere.

This blanket Casey made for me is damn comfortable, by the way.

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